boss
12-31-2006, 10:34 AM
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to
bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end
of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she
better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in
getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are
no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might
run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked
into the
Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the
Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him
that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on
a Bank of
America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later,
as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read
it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
his $40.
Smartass... but you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber
took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The
clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his
loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They
arrested the
robber
two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him
unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole
event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to
bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end
of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she
better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in
getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are
no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might
run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked
into the
Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the
Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him
that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on
a Bank of
America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later,
as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read
it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
his $40.
Smartass... but you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber
took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The
clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his
loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They
arrested the
robber
two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him
unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole
event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign